General News

No really, I want to be your customer


This morning I got up at 4am (3am if you count rolling around in bed until you realize you’re up for the day) and decided to get a head start on some of the things I wanted to get done. First on the list, wash my car.

Car Wash #1

So, I drove to the nearest car wash, which was more expensive than the rest, but accepted debit cards. It’s about 7ish and NOBODY is around. I get the basic $7 wash and the machine says “Please wait, the car wash is currently in use.” Ok…unless Wonder Woman parked her invisible jet in there, there isn’t anybody using the wash. After punching the refund button a dozen times and not getting any results I speed off.

Car Wash #2

Another car wash, just a few miles away, also accepts credit/debit cards. Normally, I wouldn’t stop at this particular car wash at all, but the sign out front says $3 for the basic wash, so I pull in. There’s another car already getting washed as I round the corner. At the pay window, suddenly the price is now $6 for the basic wash. Maybe I was willing to pay $7 at the previous location, but advertising one price and charging another just pisses me off. So, I back out and go to the car wash on the other side of town. It’s always worked in the past.

Car Wash #3

Having been to Car Wash #3 on many occasions, I know to go ahead and get $3 in change to put in the machine. I pull up to it to deposit the quarters…and it just keeps returning them to me. Apparently, there coin acceptor is broken. Great, I was wanting to carry three dollars in quarters around all day. The only thing that would feel better right now is if a vicious weasel sang Linkin Park’s new album in pig latin as I drive to the next…car wash.

Car Wash #4

Yep, this is all still in one morning. That weasel showed up by the way, but I had to toss him out ’cause he was cramping my style.

I drive all the way down to Acworth because, by now, the really nice drive-thru car wash is bound to be open. And, it is. $3 and 3 minutes later, I’ve got a spic an span car wash.

To the other three businesses, thanks for wasting my time.

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